When Postpartum Depression Doesn’t Look Like Sadness
I was recently quoted in Romper for an article on the subtle signs of postpartum depression that often get overlooked. This conversation matters because postpartum depression does not always look the way many people expect it to look. It is not always a mother crying constantly, staying in bed, or appearing unable to function.
Sometimes postpartum depression looks like rage.
Sometimes it looks like irritability, control, resentment, numbness, exhaustion, or feeling strangely disconnected from your own life.
Sometimes it looks like a mother who is still getting dressed, caring for the baby, answering messages, managing appointments, and doing everything she is “supposed” to do while privately wondering, what happened to me? This is confusing for her and her loved ones.
That is one of the reasons postpartum mental health can be missed. Many mothers are highly functioning on the outside while deeply struggling on the inside.
In the Romper article, I spoke about how postpartum rage can often be connected to anxiety and depression. I also spoke about the vulnerability of this season and why I often begin with the body when supporting postpartum mothers.
How is the body being supported? Is she sleeping? Is she eating enough? Is she getting protein? Is she hydrated? Is she recovering from birth, feeding, pain, or depletion? Is her nervous system being asked to carry more than any one person should carry alone?
These questions are not small. They are foundational.
Postpartum mental health is never only about mood. It is about the whole system around a mother: her body, relationships, identity, sleep, support, culture, feeding experience, birth story, and the expectations placed on her.
This is also part of why we created Centering YOU.
Mothers need support between appointments and inside the real moments of postpartum life — during feeding, in the middle of the night, when emotions rise quickly, when words are hard to find, and when something feels off but is difficult to name.
Centering YOU was created as a tangible support tool for those moments. Each card offers an intention, reflection, grounding practice, communication prompt, or resource designed to help a mother pause, reconnect, and notice what kind of support she may need.
If you are postpartum and you do not feel like yourself, you are not failing. You may need more support. You deserve care that sees the whole of what you are carrying.
You can read the full Romper article here.
If you are looking for postpartum therapy, perinatal mental health training, or tools to support mothers beween sessions, you can explore more through The Shift Shop and Centering YOU.
If you are pregnant, postpartum, or supporting someone who is, you do not have to wait until things feel unbearable to reach for help.
The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline offers free, confidential, 24/7 support before, during, and after pregnancy.
Call or text: 1-833-TLC-MAMA
1-833-852-6262
Support is available in English and Spanish, with interpreter support for additional languages.
If you are in immediate danger or worried you may hurt yourself or someone else, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, you can also call or text 988 for immediate crisis support.
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